What Are You Gonna Do Now, Monèt Marshall?
(I really hope you read the title of the post like “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown” because that’s what I was going for.)
yall. Yall. YALL! Last week I posted that I am leaving my job to commit more time to my arts practice. And while I am excited about shifting my life around to center my passions, it has forced me to do some real soul work and truthtelling.
I have lots of ideas. I mean LOTS! I keep a small black book with one idea per page and I have at least 30 pages written on. And I just started doing that last month! And while I think my ideas are pretty great, they may not be meant for right now. There is a voice inside of me that tells me that if I don’t choose the right project to focus on, the one that will make me money, that will make sense with my “brand”, I will fail. I will fail at being an artist and an adult. And on the flipside, if I choose to focus on too many things people will think I am doing too much, trying too much, talking too much and taking up too much space.
But I know that these are lies.
Let’s debunk them together:
CHOOSING THE RIGHT PROJECT:
There is no “right” project. There is only the project that I do and the project I don’t do. There is enough time for me to create the things I want to create. And if I don’t do it then it wasn’t for me to do.
Affirmation: I am doing the work I am meant to do in this moment. My responsibility is the now.
BUILDING MY BRAND:
Can we all agree that people should not be brands. Brands are brands and people are people. When we try to box ourselves (or others) into one thing we will always, fail, falter, fall short or end up down right miserable. We can never be just one thing. That’s the whole point of this human experiment, right?
Affirmation: I am not a brand. I am a person. If I have a brand let it be Celebrating My Whole Personhood.
TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE:
This is a huge one for me! I have been the same person since I was a child; extroverted, loquacious, energetic, visionary and bossy… I mean a leader. When you are a child with these qualities, folx don’t always know what to do with that. I was often told that I talked too much, was doing too much and wasn’t allowing enough room for others. I internalized that and adult Monèt still feels the need to apologize for talking for longer than 35 seconds or presenting ideas or standing in a grocery store or making a sound when I breathe. I know it may not seem like that, but it’s in there. I have gotten better but I still have to remind myself that I am valid, my ideas are valid and I deserve my place in the sun like everyone else. If I do not step fully into who and what I am, if I do not step out of the shade of my own insecurities, my dreams will wither and die. So here’s to all of me and all of you too.
Affirmation: I am not too much of anything. I am expertly designed and just enough of everything I am meant to be. There is more than enough room for me to step fully into who I am and there still be more than enough room for everyone else to do the same. I am living my life as a testament to the power of abundance.
Whoo! I feel better. Don’t you? Now we can get to the work at hand. I still don’t know all of what I am going to do but I have some ideas. And I know I’m ready. You can check out some of my upcoming and in progress work. And thank you for all the ways you support me and make my biggest, boldest dreams possible.